Do I Really Give a Shit? – Part 2

I am going to reflect on the comment from Meg from the last post. She said:

… whether you realize it or not, this [“Do I really give a shit?” question] can be used to determine what you really care about. If I blow $250 on a new dress rather than put it in my EF that month, it doesn’t necessarily mean I don’t give a shit about being financial secure. It means I really care about looking good at X event that month more than I give a shit about boosting my EF fund by a couple hundred bucks!

I agree with Meg 100%. But Meg, didn’t we turn EF into FU fund? I really like the sound of the FU fund.

In Meg’s scenario, it is perfectly okay to blow $250 on a new dress, assuming her priority of her own wellness and feeling is above money. And since spending the $250 probably does not risk her financial security, as she already has an EF, it is appropriate to invest in herself and make herself look good at event X and feel happy about herself by purchasing the dress.

On the flip side, if you place money in a higher priority, in terms of future financial freedom and security, and save those $250, it is also okay.

There is really no strict and set-in-stone rules that tell us how to act because we are all unique. We are unique in a way that we have different priorities in life by nature. It is just a matter of acting in accordance to your priorities, and be aware of your own action to not get caught up with excuses like, being too busy, not having choices, anxiety, stress, and worry… for which in the end would only cost you to waste effort, time, and money on things you really don’t give a shit about.

You can have many priorities in life, but not everything can be important at the same time because that would mean no priority.

To digress a bit, I share Meg’s sentiment where she said:

When I am asked about other various charities, it turns out that I just don’t give a shit. I give generously, so I don’t feel bad about this; you can’t care passionately for everything/everyone. I’m glad there are people out there campaigning for the whales, or the owls, or the homeless cats, for instance; but frankly, I just don’t give a shit. I also don’t give a shit about my alma mater’s alumni fund or my sorority’s foundation for which I am continually hit up for donations.

I personally don’t give a crap when Stanford pegs me for money relentlessly with mailings. And frankly, no amount I am able to give them will matter much anyways. On top of all that, if I seriously want to donate, I will choose to donate to my undergradate school, Michigan State University, whom I feel is my true alma mater.

Talk about contribution, it is one of my priorities to contribute what I can to the life of others, which is a reason for me to write this blog. At this point of my life, instead of donating money, what I try to do everyday is to be kind in the best of my ability to people I come across. It makes me feel great to make people smile. Or sometimes I would simply have a conversation with them and listen, which is all people need sometimes to feel better. And this last point, totally relates to a quote that my roommate coincidentally shared with me tonight, from Marilyn Manson who responded to Michael Moore in the movie, Bowling for Columbine.

Michael Moore: If you were to talk directly to the kids at Columbine or the people in that community, what would you say to them if they were here right now?
Marilyn Manson: I wouldn’t say a single word to them, I would listen to what they have to say and that’s what no one did.

Honestly, I do not listen to Marilyn Manson nor have a good impression of him. “Ironically” (and to my original surprise), Manson is the one who speaks words that truly make sense, and especially if you also read his other answers to Michael Moore in the same movie.

2 Responses

  1. Meg says:

    Glad my comment struck a chord; and thanks for the link! I do like the simplicity of the question, and it’s great to use in retrospect to see what you actually do care about.

    I just looked at what I’ve actually spent my money on over the last 6 months (via Mint.com’s uber-cool pie chart), and it turns out my top categories are home, investing, food & dining, travel, and shopping.

    This is somewhat surprising, but my spending trends clearly reflect my values – whether I want to admit it or not. Which of course is just a nicer way to say “this is what I give a shit about.” :)

    Also, we did change it to FU Fund! Thanks for reminding me. :)

  2. Dario says:

    In regards of the charity subject.. there is a non-obvious aspect that should be considered. The fact that our society -this society- established in the mind of people that doing charity equates , primerely, to donate money. This is very typical of western, modern, industrialized countries. Money becomes the easy way out for everything. You pay to be good. No effort really, just give a chunk of your cash.. and you will feel better.. you are now a good person.
    I think you should give a shit about charity… but not donating money, rather doing something for others. Volunteer to fix things in home shelter, go to an hospital for terminal ill kids and help out in any way you can, volunteer for the fire fighters.. that to me is charity.. that is effort and it is true compassion … you may ask: why would I give a shit? because at times doing things bigger then ourselves makes us better that what we were before doing it. A wise man once said (churchill) “we make a living from what we get, we make a life from what we give”

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