Are You Ready to Change?

Phew, the election is finally over. For awhile I felt like the news, rumors, absurdities, bashing, and Tina Fey would never end. We can now be relieved and start seeing and reading other things besides all things presidential and campaign related. By other things, I mean economic crisis news ONLY. Okay, enough sarcastic comments for the day.

Finally the president is decided. Now we can move on. I am glad. The biggest unknown and question now is, “Are the people ready to change?” Our future will result in two completely different ends depending on the answer. I wonder if people really mean it when they say change.

If they mean that they are ready to change and better themselves, this would be a good answer.

If they simply mean that they await for others and the world to change for them, this would be the disastrous answer.

Originally posted 2008-11-05 21:36:41. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

There is Always a Choice

There is always a choice.

That is why I am no fan of the “blame game” that people play. Flip through any sort of media channels and you can find the trend of blaming in almost every story, in any scope, be it a small town event or national crisis. Better yet, look around yourself and see how many people always think they are victims of problems created by others. Why is that?

It is simply easier to be victims and claim that you do not have a choice. That means you do not have to be responsible. Let’s face it, most people avoid responsibility by victimizing themselves and pretending they had no part of the problem creation. People fear to admit the problems they have caused and shit they have created.

Let’s look at it on the individual level with a few examples.

Do you have to go to work?
Do you have to exercise? Or go to the gym?
Do you have to make your spouse happy?

You may think that you HAVE TO work to pay all the bills, but do you really HAVE TO? For all I know, you work for the money to afford the luxury of a shelter, food, the use of city’s facilities, and the million things that you try to accumulate. You do not HAVE TO work. You may think it a tragedy when you lose all your things but you will not be dead. You CHOOSE to work because you want all these things and stuff.

The concept of have-to-exercise or have-to-go-to-gym are detrimental and is the reason why many people never get healthy or stay consistent with a training schedule. You do not HAVE TO do those, albeit your body will function sub-optimally. It is not a chore. It maybe difficult to have yourself go at times, but personally I make the choice to exercise and go to the gym every time I do so. I want to be healthy and maintain my body. I want to be better physically, at the same time improving myself mentally. Body and mind are inter-related. Therefore, I choose to go. I also choose not to go when I feel I cannot strain myself any further due to schedule.

What about relationship? Do you HAVE TO stay in a relationship that maybe harmful to the both of you? Or do you stay in a relationship because you HAVE TO be in a relationship, supposedly? You may think you HAVE TO because you may hurt the other person badly, but you probably are already doing so. Give the other person some credit and let them be responsible for themselves while you make an aware decision, whether to leave or to take action for resolution. And if you are married, does that mean you HAVE TO take care of your family? They may not be as well off if you don’t. They may hate you. But I say you do not HAVE TO. I would choose to be with someone because I want to, not because I have to have a girlfriend. I will choose to care and protect my family not because I have to, but because I want to and it is my choice.

In the extreme case, for people who are in the position of authority to do so, they think, “I have to do [fill in illegal activities] in order to make my family happy.” Now, do you really? Maybe your family desire not all the money and power you may gain from doing the illegal stuffs in order to be happy. Maybe your parents will be happier if you stay safe and just take care of yourself. Maybe they will be happier if you are around more. Maybe it is all okay, if you choose to care more about them and stop hurting others to get what you want. Maybe if you choose not to be such a greedy bastard.

All the “have to” we tell ourselves are choices we have given up. I am not telling you to live in an illusion and put a positive spin where you control everything. Because you do not control everything. You control nothing but yourself. But I believe what you choose for yourself in every moment can directly or indirectly influence many events to come in your life. In every moment, there is always a choice. Therefore, first not give up your choice. Second, do best to make good choices.

Begone with the “have to”. Now make your choice. And give it time because it will take time to regain responsibility on things you have given up on and to resolve the mess created in the process of you not being responsible.

There is always a choice.

Originally posted 2008-07-13 01:41:26. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

Lifting 300 lbs and Breaking My Back

Picture this scenario:
My friend D is a big muscular guy, 5′ 9″ and 200+ lbs while I am 5′ 5” and 130~ lbs. If D tells me, “Dude, go lift 300 lbs, it’s good for you.” and then forces me to do it. What would happen?

Before answering, let us jump to the conversation I had with my good friend, D, the other day at lunch, where we touched on the subject of the on-going war in Iraq. I would like to bring it up because I think that some comments from D are insightful and they go something like this…

D’s comments (paraphrased and with some of my interpretation):

Can’t we just leave those people alone? We are trying to help them but do they even appreciate it? They hate us. Why are we trying to help when they don’t want the help? It is just another form of bullying. We should just get out of there and leave them alone. What gives us the right to go in there and just slap on a democratic goverment when they had no idea what the heck democracy is in the first place? Let them evolve at their own pace.

My response:

Exactly, that is exactly what the problem is. They went in Iraq and enforced a democratic goverment out of no where. People had no idea what it is, and how are they suppose to make use of it? We would serve them better if we educate them critical thinking for themselves and their own society, and THEN freely choosing upon those thoughts, which are some of the most basic elements of democrary. (but at this point, I also think, hmmmm, look at America these days, Americans aren’t even thinking very clearly these days… anyways…)

This is exactly the problem! Now let’s go back to the scenario I told at the beginning and answer the question. If D does force me to lift 300 lbs, small guy as I am, I will certainly just break my back and hate him forever. THAT, I think, is a suitable analogy to what’s happening in Iraq.

With that said, we are led to the very thing that we should remember in personal development. The idea is to take small steps toward improvement everyday, which is what we should advocate and educate, instead of using shortcuts to propel to immediate success, which either will likely not work or just end up taking longer. Life is an evolution. Healthy changes need to be steady and continuous. Now I may not lift 300 lbs today, but if I work toward it everyday doing weight training, I will be able to do that. Whether I want to is another story :P

PS. This article has the naive assumption that US is still in Iraq to secure safety for the people there, not for the oil, not for any unspoken political reasons.

Originally posted 2007-04-28 00:34:15. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

Is There A Time in Your Life When You Finally Get It…

I share with you this article that I stumbled upon that I truly enjoyed.

… when, in the midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out…ENOUGH!

Enough fighting and crying and blaming and struggling to hold on.

Then, like a child quieting down after a tantrum, you blink back your tears and begin to look at the world through new eyes.

You realize it’s time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety and security to magically appear over the next horizon.
You realize that in the real world there aren’t always fairy tale endings, and that any guarantee of “happily ever after” must begin with you… and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.
You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are… and that’s OK. They are entitled to their own views and opinions.
You learn the importance of loving and championing yourself… and in the process a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval.
You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you – or didn’t do for you – and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected.
You learn that people don’t always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and that everything isn’t always about you.

So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself… and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance.
You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties… and in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness.
You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. You begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for.
You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to question the doctrines and values you’ve grown up with, or should never have bought into to begin with.
You learn that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a “consumer” looking for your next fix.
You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era, but the mortar that holds together the very foundation upon which you must build a life.
You learn that you don’t know everything, it’s not your job to save the world and that you can’t teach a pig to sing.
You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake.

Then you learn about love. You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You learn that alone does not mean lonely.
You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes.
You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO.
You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs.
You learn that your body really is your temple. You begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin to eat a balanced diet, drink more water, and take more time to exercise.
You learn that being tired fuels doubt, fear, and uncertainty and so you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play.
You learn that, for the most part, you get in life what you believe you deserve, and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working hard for and that wishing for something to
happen is different than working hard toward making it happen.

More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance.
You also learn that no one can do it all alone, and that it’s OK to risk asking for help.
You learn the only thing you must truly fear is fear itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your own terms.
You learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom, realizing that a positive attitude is a choice you make every morning when you wake up.
You learn that life isn’t always fair, you don’t always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people… and you learn not to always take it personally.
You learn that nobody’s punishing you and everything isn’t always somebody’s fault. It’s just life happening.
You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls.
You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you.
You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower.

Then, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never, ever settle for less than your heart’s desire.
You make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.

Finally, with courage in your heart, you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the life you want to live as best you can and are extremely thankful for all the blessings in your life.

Author Unknown

Originally posted 2009-01-24 00:15:50. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 ... 87 88 89 Next

Subscribe using Email

Get notified of new posts by email.