Yet another tragedy…

Humans are such silly creatures and can’t seem to stop from killing each other in a rapid pace…

Not only there are wars going on, we’re also shooting each other to death… as gunman kills 32 at university.

Einstein is right… Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe. It’s saddening to see people lose themselves, give up on rationalization, and deprive himself and others for a chance.

Originally posted 2007-04-16 23:01:14. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

Understand Yourself

Do you understand yourself?
Do you know what you want?
Do you know why you act certain ways?
Do you ever talk to yourself?

Can you answer all those questions?

You may think, “Why the heck is this dude asking all these question? He crazy…”
Or you may think, “Only crazy people talk to themselves? This guy’s crazy…”

Hear me out. I want you to understand the importance and the need to get in touch with the self. Take a look around you, these days people seem to be so busy that they never pause for a moment to get to know themselves. They’re so busy with life. They work all the time. They drive to and from work, angry with traffic or thinking about work, or stressing about life. They study and study to obtain some degress or certicates that may move them further in career. When they don’t do those, they sit and watch TV, go on a shopping spree, talking on the phones for hours, listening to iPods, so basically, filling every void possible in their time.

Let me pop another question, “So what’s the most common reason for relationship breakdown?”
This should get your attention.

I would have to say it’s the lack of communication or miscommunication.

Girlfriend/Boyfriend/Wife/Husband: I thought you know what I meant. -OR- Why couldn’t you do this? -OR- I thought we are going to do xxxxx.
The other half: You never told me. -OR- We never talked about it. -OR- You didn’t explicitly say it.

Fit in any scenario in the above example, be it scenario where ones does the wrong thing, or both persons share different outlook in life, or both persons have different spending habits… These are common themes in conflicts that bring relationship to an end when the couple finally realizes the difference without prior communication and understanding to allow solutions and compromises to keep the relationship going. That’s why it is important to get to know each others. It goes for any relationship.

You can translate that into business scenario. Usually when employer and employee terminate their relationship is when one side or both sides cease to listen and understand the other sides, therefore, they no longer can fulfill the needs and expectation of the other side inthe relationship. Perhaps the employer is not getting the work he wants done. Perhaps the employee is not getting the opportunity he wants. Either way, when such problems persist for a long time without communication to solve them, one will fire the other.

You should get my point of the importance for communication in relationship now.

The same thing can happen to the individual person. What happens if I don’t establish communication with myself? Unlike those other relationships, I terminate my relationship with myself. I can’t separate from myself unless I commit suicide, but let’s not go there. So what happens next?

If I never really get to know myself, I will wonder in life aimlessly. I may wake up, go to work or school, eat, sleep, what some TV or play some video games perhaps, do what I am “supposed” to do, do what I need to fulfill my basic needs to survive, or do what satisfies the family’s expection. And that will be it. Then the day repeats itself.

I will be disconnected from myself. I will not know what I want to do. I will not know my priorities. My action will be out of sync from the person I truly am, or who I aspired to be deep down. The more action I perform that does not represent my true self, the further away I am from reality. I will live a life that is not one that I want. Because I don’t do what I want. Because I don’t know what I want. Because I don’t take the moment to think for myself, to talk to myself to understand what are the things that have meanings for me and the priorities in my life. I will do things that are not meaningful to me and some end up hurting myself, like how people hurt each other in relationship when they don’t know what each other wants. I will do stupid things. I will accomplish nothing, just as a relationship will go nowhere when communication ceases to exist.

Consequently, we need to get in touch with ourselves. We need to understand ourselves by continuous self-evaluation and self-discovery. With understanding, we know what we need to change and work on for ourselves. Below are 3 points for you to think about that should help you to get to know yourself.

Define short-term goals

Be it financial goal, change of life-style, exercise routine, develop a new hobby. Do something you WANT to do. Start doing it and stay persistent. Don’t give up after several weeks or months. Instead, slowly involve that as a part of your life.

Have long term goals

This maybe a little more difficult to define specifically, especially if you are young, like myself. Pay attention to what you like and don’t like to do in your job. Think about the way you want to live that you want 5-10 years down the road. What kind career? Having a family? Becoming a home owner? Starting your own business? Moving to another city/country? Something you can do to help others in the world? Basically have a vision of what you see yourself doing in the long haul. Find your passion.

Begin with the end in mind

This comes from Stephen Covey’s 7 Habis of Highly Effective People and for me, this is one of the strongest messages from the book. The defines the ideal person you want to become in life. This is your personal statement for your life. Think about when you died, how others would react? (Sad…Excited…!?!?) What kind of person will they think of you are? (A good father…A good husband…A great teacher…) What would they recall you doing? (Stepping over people to get your way…Always helpling people…) What attributes will the associate with you? (Optimistic…Passionate…Hateful…?) What did they learn from you that will carry on into further generations? It is not what they think that matters, but if you answer these, you will have defined the person you want to be, and you can spend time and effort working toward it everyday day through your life. Make a list and stick to it. Of course, this list can evolve as you go through life and gain new experience.

Enough questions for one day. Also plenty of thinking for one day, if you care. You do care, don’t you? You did finish reading up to here. That proves something :) So onto the finale.

Take step, no matter how small

All these ideas and personal development are not a one day process but a life long process. Taking small steps everyday, however far, or little, each step takes us, is the only way. Make the choice to take the first step. Make the choice to get to know yourself. By beginning with the end in mind, you will have defined the ideal person you want to be. Then hereafter, make the choice take each step, one after the other, spending your effort accomplish your ideal self.

Originally posted 2007-11-11 22:46:29. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

To Hope, Not To Hope

Most of us are familiar with the story of the Pandora Box. A little curiosity went a long way to nearly destroy mankind and introduce all sorts of evils into our world, but also left us with one thing to live for to counteract those evils — hope.

Hope… seems to be what everyone lives for everyday.

Some of us simply hope to be happy. Some live on the hope that their partners will shower them with more thoughtfulness, respect, and love. Some live on the hope that the next relationship will sweep them off their feet. Some live on the hope that luck would finally come their way and all problems will be solved. Some live on the hope that others will treat them nicer the next day. Some live on the hope for the next best job. Some live on the hope that the next video game, gadget, clothing, furnitures, or goal achievement will provide the next rush of excitement. Some live on the hope that themselves, or their children will be the next most famous or richest person in the world, somehow. Some live on the hope that when they die and they will reach heaven, or… hopefully not hell. There are all sorts of hope that drive the human world.

But you know what? Hope is way too overrated these days. So much hope we have that create nasty effects on us.

People with much hope for financial gain may go out of the way, or the legal way, to quickly obtain what they want, even though it means harming others and people the love.

People with much hope for an awesome relationship are stuck with an ideal and could not bring themselves to pay attention to people that may already be around them.

What else? Hmmm… remember yourself getting the thing that you always hoped for, or the achievement that you fought so hard for. And the awesome feeling when you got that thing or achievement? It didn’t last very long huh? And you find yourself kicking, clawing, and screaming to try to keep that feeling. And when you can’t, you have to look and search hard for the next thing to get you back the awesome and happy feeling. I certainly had done that.

Before I continue, may I say that what I say below is not for the light hearted. If you easily get upset or offended with not-so-common-sense idea, you may want to skip today’s post. For others, I leave you with the following thoughts to consider.

You know what I say? I say F hope. The heck with hope. Hope be damn. The best place to live is a place without hope. Without hope, you grasp the moment, and the moment is all we have. With hope, people often fail to see the truth. With hope, people act as if they are not responsible. With hope, people fear to take action from fear of failing to reach the ideal that symbolizes by the hope. With hope, people wish to go to heaven than do what they can during this life on earth. How about I say there is no heaven? Nor hell? What if this earth is all we have? And this sub-100 lifespan is all we have? Can you accept that?

Hope is another trickery that people play with themselves in their mind. That is why as far as I am concern. I am not here to try to inspire you. I want you to see for yourself things as they are, and no more.

If you can lay down your hope, you can do the best you can in each moment. If you simply do your best without hope, you will probably be surprised how far you can get. If people can do everything they need to do without hoping, they can do whole-heartedly and most sincerely, and they can do almost anything they want.

Without hope, you truly see.
Without hope, you consciously choose.
Without hope, you simply do.

Originally posted 2008-08-28 22:40:17. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

A Time and Place for Adjustable Rate Mortgage

Adjustable rate mortgage (ARM) is a taboo term by now, while the mess in the subprime loan market continues to unfold.

ARM is another financial tool with a purpose for its existence. However, buyers abused it to buy a house they cannot afford, and banks abused it to get unsubstantiated numbers on their balance sheet. We can generalize that bad outcomes in human society is always the result of an abuse of certain power.

ARM is a good option for someone who wants to buy a house in short-term. It allows the buyer to keep more money in the pocket for the period of time with the initial interest rate, while he invests those money in other places for a higher return. There are also various types of ARM to “tweak” the amount of payment. The usual scenario is for the buyer to live in the house for however long before the interest rate reset and then sell it.

Essentially, the buyer must understand that by taking an ARM, he is speculating on an appreciating housing market. If he plans to live beyond the expiration of the initial interest rate, he’s betting on a reset to lower percentage for the interest rate. The ideal scenario is either selling the house before the reset at an appreciated price, or staying in the house with a reset to a lower percentage. It’s neither the case for the people with ARM, which brings us to the current situation.

I wonder if the ARM buyers in default or facing foreclosure thought and understood about ARM when they took the loan. I doubt it though. They were too busy marveling at the house that’s too big for them to afford. I also wonder if the banks made sure that buyers understand ARM. I doubt that too. They were too busy adding all the numbers on their quarterly reports.

But then, perhaps ARM will be a good option for me in the next few years?

Originally posted 2007-12-12 23:12:06. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

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