April 15, 2015 by Kin
There is always a choice.
That is why I am no fan of the “blame game” that people play. Flip through any sort of media channels and you can find the trend of blaming in almost every story, in any scope, be it a small town event or national crisis. Better yet, look around yourself and see how many people always think they are victims of problems created by others. Why is that?
It is simply easier to be victims and claim that you do not have a choice. That means you do not have to be responsible. Let’s face it, most people avoid responsibility by victimizing themselves and pretending they had no part of the problem creation. People fear to admit the problems they have caused and shit they have created.
Let’s look at it on the individual level with a few examples.
Do you have to go to work?
Do you have to exercise? Or go to the gym?
Do you have to make your spouse happy?
You may think that you HAVE TO work to pay all the bills, but do you really HAVE TO? For all I know, you work for the money to afford the luxury of a shelter, food, the use of city’s facilities, and the million things that you try to accumulate. You do not HAVE TO work. You may think it a tragedy when you lose all your things but you will not be dead. You CHOOSE to work because you want all these things and stuff.
The concept of have-to-exercise or have-to-go-to-gym are detrimental and is the reason why many people never get healthy or stay consistent with a training schedule. You do not HAVE TO do those, albeit your body will function sub-optimally. It is not a chore. It maybe difficult to have yourself go at times, but personally I make the choice to exercise and go to the gym every time I do so. I want to be healthy and maintain my body. I want to be better physically, at the same time improving myself mentally. Body and mind are inter-related. Therefore, I choose to go. I also choose not to go when I feel I cannot strain myself any further due to schedule.
What about relationship? Do you HAVE TO stay in a relationship that maybe harmful to the both of you? Or do you stay in a relationship because you HAVE TO be in a relationship, supposedly? You may think you HAVE TO because you may hurt the other person badly, but you probably are already doing so. Give the other person some credit and let them be responsible for themselves while you make an aware decision, whether to leave or to take action for resolution. And if you are married, does that mean you HAVE TO take care of your family? They may not be as well off if you don’t. They may hate you. But I say you do not HAVE TO. I would choose to be with someone because I want to, not because I have to have a girlfriend. I will choose to care and protect my family not because I have to, but because I want to and it is my choice.
In the extreme case, for people who are in the position of authority to do so, they think, “I have to do [fill in illegal activities] in order to make my family happy.” Now, do you really? Maybe your family desire not all the money and power you may gain from doing the illegal stuffs in order to be happy. Maybe your parents will be happier if you stay safe and just take care of yourself. Maybe they will be happier if you are around more. Maybe it is all okay, if you choose to care more about them and stop hurting others to get what you want. Maybe if you choose not to be such a greedy bastard.
All the “have to” we tell ourselves are choices we have given up. I am not telling you to live in an illusion and put a positive spin where you control everything. Because you do not control everything. You control nothing but yourself. But I believe what you choose for yourself in every moment can directly or indirectly influence many events to come in your life. In every moment, there is always a choice. Therefore, first not give up your choice. Second, do best to make good choices.
Begone with the “have to”. Now make your choice. And give it time because it will take time to regain responsibility on things you have given up on and to resolve the mess created in the process of you not being responsible.
There is always a choice.
Originally posted 2008-07-13 01:41:26. Republished by Blog Post Promoter