Love – The Ability

I had an urge to write this entry much earlier, but between hectic schedule and laziness… I’ve been putting off writing it. I’ve also thought, “dude, maybe I’m too young to write about this, but hey, what the heck, I’ll go for it”. Perhaps you’ll see why I said that. Here goes.

It’s actually a good thing I delayed as I came across this reading from “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” by Stephen Covey:

…My wife and I just don’t have the same feelings for each other we used to have. I guess I just don’t love her anymore and she doesn’t love me. What can I do?”
“The feeling isn’t there anymore?” I asked.
“That’s right,” he reaffirmed. “And we have three children we’re really concerned about. What do you suggest?”
“Love her,” I replied.
“I told you, the feeling just isn’t there anymore.”
“Love her.”
“You don’t understand. The feeling of love just isn’t there.”
“Then love her. If the feeling isn’t there, that’s a good reason to love her.”
“But how do you love when you don’t love?”
“My friend, love is a verb. Love — the feeling — is a fruit of love the verb. So love her. Sacrifice.
Listen to her. Empathize. Appreciate. Affirm her. Are you willing to do that?”

As such, love becomes a word with two meanings depending on the context we speak in, IMHO. A verb and a noun. Currently, pretty much in everyday-scenario when we use or run across the word “love,” it’s being used as a noun. When people say “love”, it is referred to as a feeling. We’re told everyday on TV and Hollywood movies that such is so. That, when we love, it is this feeling within us about a special person, and that we are driving by this feeling. Because we say that we are “driven,” we are implying that there is no decision/responsibility involved. “My feeling is making me do so~~~ Love is telling me to do so~~~ I love this person so~~~” In other words, we shed the burden of “making decision” when it comes to love, but in a way, we allow ourselves to become puppets of our feelings.

Frequently when we claim that we are in love, I think we have somehow confused ourselves. That we may just be “in love” with the strong, passionate feeling itself. We enjoy the feeling that is stimulated by a particular person. The feeling clouds our visions, giving us this imagination/ideal image of the person that causes us to overlook reality… as time goes on, reality starts to catch up and lucky would be a result that this special person isn’t too far off from our imagination but otherwise, unfortunate it would be.

Whether that is true or not, I believe that there comes a time when you have to make a decision in relationship. The decision to love. This is an action, succeeding the initial feeling. The action to love, where love becomes a verb. This is where we will choose to perform the act of love or walk away because either situations do not allow or we deem not worth it.

Well, any action we take in life requires certain abilities. Then love, involves some of our abilities… and what abilities are we talking about? This is something we all have to think about. In my mind, they include… ability to be independent, ability to make the decision and commit, ability to sacrifice, ability to share, ability to observe, ability to appreciate, ability to think clearly, ability to change/improve ourselves (even in the most drastic ways), ability to respect, ability to be patient, ability to endure loneliness, ability to support each other even though the most dire time… Basically, love is such an important action that it entails so much and the list goes on and on.

In conclusion, I would say that love is more than the feeling of liking, of passion. We have to materialize it through our actions, an action that involves all our abilities. As such, love is easy to say, but can we really do it?

So next time when we use the word, why don’t we give it some thought? Can we really go one step above the feeling, to accomplish the act of love? I think that when we’re ready, when we can do it… happiness won’t be too far away. It is not love, the feeling, but love, the action, that once we hone our abilities for the act of love… at that point, we may just have the answer to all the problems to everything.

Originally posted 2006-10-28 01:46:51. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

The Missing Fundamental Element in Human Society

I like to think about things. I especially like to contemplate about the big picture. And by big picture, I mean to dig deep to realize the most fundamental, underlying, pattern, mechanism that drive the big picture.

Therefore, I ask, “What could be one most fundamental element, beyond economy, beyond politics, that is lacking that wrecks havoc in the human world, or rather, preempt humans to wreck havoc with themselves? Why all the human issues because of this missing element?”

I can think come up with one idea… that is — wisdom.

We are sorely lacking in wisdom.

We value intelligence. We value knowledge. Therefore, we value smart (and usually the more aggressive) people. We know those are very much emphasized. But none of those are wisdom.

These days, nobody talks about wisdom. Nobody talks about becoming wise these days. It is not important. In fact, if you say “I want to be wise”, people probably edge away from you and think you are nuts.

We can all agree that someone extremely smart can be very unwise. Wisdom is not associate with smartness and intelligence. So, what could be wisdom? What comes to mind when you think of wisdom? Perhaps you can share. I will opine in the next post.

Originally posted 2009-11-04 00:19:45. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

The Angering Facts from Japan’s Nuclear Problem

Update on 2011/04/04: Japan seeks Russian help to end nuclear crisis (Reuters). What do you know? It seems I was quite accurate after all…


I had taken some time away to let myself marinate in a lot of thoughts and feelings that I have for awhile, and also because a project in my job is sucking the life out of me. However, there is something about what is going on underneath the surface of the Japan nuclear problem that disturbs me so much that I feel like I have to write.

If you hadn’t been watching the news, basically the nuclear problem in Japan has been worsening since day 1 and how it will completely unfold remains unseen.

These seem to be where we stand right now globally regarding this:

  • Some countries had sent some units to help with the rescue. (token humanitarian effort? — no insult to the people who actually went to help. I have utmost admiration and respect for them.)
  • All countries with residents in Japan are telling them to flee.
  • United States media is taking the opportunities to report as much as possible and hopefully get better ratings (euphemism)
  • The nuclear panic had led to a hoarding of salt and some other every commodities in China
  • The nuclear panic had led to a hoarding of potassium iodide pills in the United States

Here is where Japan stands:

  • some 50180 plant workers heroically (and I do mean heroically) stayed behind to work on the different reactors… (but think about how many people are needed to deal with an exploded pipeline on the street? while there are 4 nuclear reactors malfunctioning…)
  • They are now down to dropping water from helicopters to try to cool and prevent a nuclear meltdown.

Do you have any idea what that implies? That implies, if not for certain, that Japan is down to its last trick to try to stop things from getting worse. They may have the will but they are at the limit of their abilities. They are at their wits’ end. The question we may ask, “How’s that related to me?”

Maybe you’ll answer “crap, we’ll have a gigantic nuclear disaster”. It is a minor-partially correct answer because the true correct is that we will have another world economic problem in our hands. This deal is sealed the day people decided “globalization” is the next greatest thing.

With a nuclear disaster on who-know-what-scale, Japan economy is shot, companies with bases in Japan are hampered, all global resources(food, energy…) will need to be further divided, and who know what other consequences.

I am not saying it will or has to happen, but with this pending problem… instead of addressing this real problem, which also includes risking of thousands, if not millions of lives, the mighty nations of our globe and leaders of big nations decide this is what they will do…

finance ministers from the Group of Seven nations announced a coordinated intervention in the currency market to prevent the yen from rising further

Despair, anger, frustration, speechlessness, darkness… are a few adjectives that describe how that makes me feel. These global power instead of sending specialized units that deal with nuclear contamination (they have to have these units, especially countries with nuclear weapons…) to help prevent and mitigate the real nuclear problem, they decide… “oh, let’s just make sure to keep the money flowing. Money is what matters, and that is above the significance of humanity… we’ll get to the saving human life part later [and only perhaps… if there’s something we can call we save…]”.

Is it me or this is f#@$-ing retarded? When it is time for global population to do right, this is what we have?

Solving the real problem not only will keep the money flowing down the road (because Japan will rebuild herself and probably into something better than before) but will also save lives… and lives that had yet been born…

The only hope is that, what is said here is ALL wrong and things do not actually worsen because otherwise, we will have some very horrible situations in our hands due to some very very terrible man-made errors that will make the earthquake and tsunami pale in comparison.

Speaking in a different context, the decisions that are being made by people world-wide throughout this situation had already demonstrate a very narrow narrow model of thinking prevalent in our human culture (because observe what most people are ONLY concern about…). How little we truly, genuinely care about each other… The path this current human culture is taking is not good, but this should be the subject for another day.

People who know what these last few words mean will already know what they mean.
People who don’t know what they mean, well, feel free to email me and with questions and I’ll be happy speak and respond and have a conversations.

Originally posted 2011-03-17 18:51:28. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

You Don’t Want to be Warren Buffet

I saw an interview on CNBC yesterday featuring Warren Buffet. It is the first time I see him live even though I have read quite a bit about him. He gave me the impression of being as wise as his words and also a no-BS kind of guy. Just compare him to other financial analysts or talk hosts, it is not hard to see why. His answers cut right to the chase and don’t beat around the bush with jargons that leave people confused.

Known as the “Oracle of Omaha”, Warren is also a noted philanthropist. Nonetheless, there are criticism out there about him being hypocritical in terms of making business decisions in the cost of being philanthropic. They maybe true, and a capitalist he may be. Whether the criticism is true or not, he appears a man who knows his priorities, and at 75-year-old, he has one heck of a clear mind. That’s my humble opinion, and I have respect for him in these regards.

Being one of the richest man on earth, no doubt someone wants to be him. Perhaps you think so yourself. I feel like I want to be him too! However, this leads me to think that when someone says that he wants to be somebody, he doesn’t really want to be that person per se. He means that he wants only a particular aspect of that person’s life. So when someone says that he wants to be Warren Buffet, he probably means that he wants to be rich like Warren Buffet. All the other stuff that comes with his life? Probably not so much, because let’s take the extra step and think…

Do I want to go through some grind your teeth kind of hard work involved in his success?
Can I deal with the many uncomfortable occasions that Warren put himself in but did so knowingly anyways? (I don’t know what the occasion are but I am sure there are plenty.)
Am I ready to make the changes neccessary and keep learning to get to where Warren is today?
Do I even want to make business-critical decisions that affect billions of dollars on daily basis like Warren?
Will I enjoy managing business like Warren?

I will leave it up to you to ponder those questions. We need to see beyond the glamour of a succesful person and see the effort and hard work involved in the success.

The fact is, we can always learn from other successful people, and we should. It is also a wonderful thing to have a role model or idol to imitate and to get motivated about. Those are very positive things. But you don’t just want to be someone else. You want to be the best of yourself, and you should be the best of yourself. Do your best to improve yourself everyday and perhaps you will even surpass your role model or idol, in your own unique kind of ways.

Originally posted 2008-04-07 22:38:50. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

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