What If You Are Wrong

What if you are wrong?
What if we are wrong?

What if everything that we have come to known, everything that we have done are completely wrong all along?

Therein lies one of the biggest reasons that people hardly ever change.

Yet, therein lies the key to real change.
Therein also lies one of the key to spiritual growth — that everything we think we know as truth is not so.

Can you accept?

Knowing that you are wrong.
Knowing that you don’t know.
Could be the biggest hurdle for the change you need.

Knowing that you are wrong.
Knowing that you don’t know.
Is a wonderful first step to a new beginning.

Originally posted 2009-09-13 22:14:07. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

Getting to the Basics and the Heart of Things

Success is my topic on this blog. Success is not simply one thing and definitely not about money.

That is why I have a tendency to write more about concepts in personal development and less about personal finance. I write much less about in specifics and details in what to do with your money. Besides the fact that there are plenty of info and references on the internet already, the truth is that if you can master the basics, success in life (and therefore personal financial life) will soon follow. Kinda like martial arts practice – the ability to a more advanced move comes from the mastery and understanding of doing a more basic move.

How do I mean? What are the basics? These qualities quicly come to my mind:

You may be thinking, “Compassion? Wha…?” Don’t laugh because compassion IS a basic and requirement in success in life.

Use the “Search” on the right to locate my posts on these topics.

Originally posted 2008-01-30 23:45:16. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

The Place Called Home

Home is not just a place where members of the same family live under the same roof.
Home does not necessarily have to be a physical place.

One thing I am certain we can agree on — we want a place to belong, a place where we feel at home.

This sense of belonging, in my humble opinion, is telling us to return to the awareness we possess, in order to be present in the moment. To feel truly at home, we need to find the home within ourselves. Ultimately, I think a person can and need to find the place within himself where peace and happiness healthily come from.

I may seem to be derailing, but please bear with me for 5 minutes and finish reading :)

To accomplish such, it takes time, determination, and persistence to allow and overcome lots of self-questioning, through which we increase self-knowledge. In fact, this goal is not an ending per se, because life is a journey that never ends and so shall the inner search. It is impossible for any of us to know everything about ourselves and the world around us.

Maybe everyone is driven by this inherent need to belong, and everything we do is a result of that. This is a reasonable explanation for why we like to simulate each other, trying to fit into certain groups of people. This maybe why we like to do what other people do, like keeping up with the Jones and following the fashion trend. However, to satisfy this inherent thirst to belong, the only way to do so is by returning to the Self within. Yet, how many people are actually doing that? People are predisposed to seek outside due to many of the conditionings they received growing up. I digress. Food for thought.

We can all agree life is a journey. Along the way, we need something to allow us to find comfort and feel safe until we find the courage to look within ourselves. And because none of us is perfect, we can use such a thing when we are down…

A physical place to find peace? Something that makes you happy? A smile that melts your heart? A precious memory that restores confidence? A good friend who listens?

We all need something like that to give us strength, until we learn to draw strength from the Self.

If I ever have kids, I would like to provide such a home for them. And if I don’t have kids, I shall be such for my niece, who is 2 years old now. To them, I would like to convey the sentiment:

If you ever need a place to return to, a person to tell things to, a person to ask questions, never hesitate. Whatever it is, I will have my open heart, open arms, open ears… I will be here. This is a place you can always return to. To rest. To recover. To get stronger. To hide for a little while. To have someone understand you. I will not lay judgment upon you. My knowledge is yours. And if I ever forget, you are allowed to beat the crap out of me until I remember.

But do not rely on me. I will not do things for you, nor can I because your life is your own experience. I want you to go experience and learn things through your own experience. I will kick you out there to do so if you cannot make that choice yourself. Just remember that, there is still this place called home. That I will be here.

That is what I intend to be for the youth to come after me. To let them know that there is a home to return to, so that they can fearlessly venture out and eventually, find the home within themselves. At which point, I can retire 

I lacked such a home growing up, so I want to be such for the young ones. In fact, I felt less at home when I was “at home”. No, I am not angry, not anymore. I understand that my parents did the best they could. It did take a lengthy struggle to come to term though, and it did make struggles out of other things before I arrive here. Not that I am alone to struggle with such situation, but you can see why such desire now. That is why I am so adamant about bettering myself.

The next generation should be okay if we can supply them such a home until they become stronger themselves.

Originally posted 2008-12-06 22:31:58. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

Splitting the bill at a meal with friends and “others”…

friends_dining_painting

So this has been on my mind for awhile. Recently I was at at dinner with my girlfriend, her friend aka Mary, and Mary’s date aka John. The “others” in the title applies to John, haha.

The food was enjoyable, conversation was flowing, and we were having a decent time. The bill came and we split it evenly by 4 while I paid for my girlfriend and myself. No awkward moment on the spot, but there is a minor hiccup…

My girlfriend and I thought and discussed about it later. Neither of us is into drinking a lot of alcohol so we each had one drink for the night. Well, the minor hiccup is that Mary and John each had 3 or 4 drinks for the night.

Our biggest gripe is that neither of them think of to offer to pay a little bit more for the bill. How inconsiderate! At least make the simple gesture, right?

I don't want anxiety for dinner bill...

I don’t want anxiety for dinner bill…

I have no rules and I generally don’t fuzz about a few extra dollars. In this case, the difference is quite a bit more because of the disproportion between the pairs. I let it pass on the spot because I know this is an occasional outing. At the same time, my GF and I now know to be mindful about going out with Mary and a date, lol. Perhaps say something about it before the bill comes next time? Perhaps…

The good thing for me is that the close group of friends I keep are always great about when splitting the bill, none of us care about paying a bit extra while at the same time, we all offer to pay more when clearly we’ve consumed more. Love my friends :)

If I end up dining with a group of new people, I set no expectation and am ready to pay the extra if necessary.

Back to the story… The other point from our discussion is that, this John guy is obviously not that great of a date after all because it obviously didn’t cross his mind that their extra drinking had really tip the bill. This suggests a lack of attention and sensitivity.

I think it’s generally very hard to have rules set-in-stone to deal with these social situation. What do you think? How do you deal with splitting the bill in general?

Originally posted 2013-03-21 00:19:59. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

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