Introvert living in a world of extroverts

I maybe quiet, but I may also have great ideas.

I maybe quiet, but I may also have great ideas.

We live in a very loud society. At least, it feels that way.

We either scream at the top of our lung or risk being unheard, unnoticed, unappreciated in today’s world. With the ever more stimulating media and everyone’s craving for attention, we all, in turn, need to continuously speak up, and FIGHT for attention.

More and more talking.
Less and less listening, paying attention.

No wonder people are feeling lonelier than ever.
No wonder we seem to understand so little of each other.

When do we have time for contemplation and introspection? Without which we leave little room for substance to grow, new idea to form, and creative vision to arise. Without such, the words that we keep spewing out lack what was mentioned, and they are just verbal diarrhea. That is, what we excrete out of our mouths are malformed, malnutritioned, perverted ideas that will lead us to a world that we… ultimately don’t want. All because we have to be constantly talking and constantly entertained… so it seems.

This is not to say introverts are better than extroverts. This is all about how unbalanced we have become.

We now deem extroversion as “normal.” Our world is not accepting of personalities that are of an introvert. We usually end up calling those people as boring, or inadequate, or even weird.

We are a society that suffocates those who are more introverted. We demand continuous communication even when it’s unnecessary. We ask for non-stopping display of excitement which is obnoxious to introverts.

I am an introvert. I enjoy being alone. I like having time to read at home. I love playing the piano. I find listening to music with headphones which is relaxing. I can sit somewhere and simply people watch.

I had been in management for almost a year now. It is surprising how criticism would arise mostly from a more mild demeanor that is natural for an introvert. If you don’t try to be visible, shouting words at every chance, you lack leadership and are not acting with a sense of urgency.

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I am analytical, I like to take in a lot of information, process, and then arrive at a conclusion. But the environment does not favor that. If I don’t immediately respond, it does not mean I do not care. Being able to be quiet and listen is also where understanding can happen, where appreciation comes from. With inadequate traits of introversion, we become mostly egomaniacs. And that’s how more than the average people would act these days (especially people in management).

That’s why I feel a sense of relief when I came across Susan Cain’s TED talk – The power of introverts:

Finally, the talk of the idea to take the time to stop, to enjoy solitude and to introspect.

Introversion is important. That is how we can understand each other. And understanding is the basis of compassion where we begin to truly care for each other.

I believe in action with grace and humility.

And someone like that can still be exciting, can still have style. Our world should not require people to call attention to ourselves in a sort of self-aggrandizing way exhibitionistic way.

From way back, my quiet and introverted style of being has always left me feeling “out of place” in this society, and it’s still does sometimes.

In conclusion, two obvious idea stand out from these discussion:

1) Our society still benefit from learning and adapting more traits of introversion, and as a result be more tolerant and able to work with introverts who may have some great ideas.

the_hulk

2) Meanwhile, introverts need to compensate, especialy if one wants to be influential, by being more studious and knowledgeable, thus more confident and assertive when the occassion arises that we need to speak up.

In other words, to all you introverts, don’t be afraid to go into hulk-mode if you feel strongly that you need to speak up or you know that you are right!

Originally posted 2013-06-03 04:12:01. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

To Hope, Not To Hope

Most of us are familiar with the story of the Pandora Box. A little curiosity went a long way to nearly destroy mankind and introduce all sorts of evils into our world, but also left us with one thing to live for to counteract those evils — hope.

Hope… seems to be what everyone lives for everyday.

Some of us simply hope to be happy. Some live on the hope that their partners will shower them with more thoughtfulness, respect, and love. Some live on the hope that the next relationship will sweep them off their feet. Some live on the hope that luck would finally come their way and all problems will be solved. Some live on the hope that others will treat them nicer the next day. Some live on the hope for the next best job. Some live on the hope that the next video game, gadget, clothing, furnitures, or goal achievement will provide the next rush of excitement. Some live on the hope that themselves, or their children will be the next most famous or richest person in the world, somehow. Some live on the hope that when they die and they will reach heaven, or… hopefully not hell. There are all sorts of hope that drive the human world.

But you know what? Hope is way too overrated these days. So much hope we have that create nasty effects on us.

People with much hope for financial gain may go out of the way, or the legal way, to quickly obtain what they want, even though it means harming others and people the love.

People with much hope for an awesome relationship are stuck with an ideal and could not bring themselves to pay attention to people that may already be around them.

What else? Hmmm… remember yourself getting the thing that you always hoped for, or the achievement that you fought so hard for. And the awesome feeling when you got that thing or achievement? It didn’t last very long huh? And you find yourself kicking, clawing, and screaming to try to keep that feeling. And when you can’t, you have to look and search hard for the next thing to get you back the awesome and happy feeling. I certainly had done that.

Before I continue, may I say that what I say below is not for the light hearted. If you easily get upset or offended with not-so-common-sense idea, you may want to skip today’s post. For others, I leave you with the following thoughts to consider.

You know what I say? I say F hope. The heck with hope. Hope be damn. The best place to live is a place without hope. Without hope, you grasp the moment, and the moment is all we have. With hope, people often fail to see the truth. With hope, people act as if they are not responsible. With hope, people fear to take action from fear of failing to reach the ideal that symbolizes by the hope. With hope, people wish to go to heaven than do what they can during this life on earth. How about I say there is no heaven? Nor hell? What if this earth is all we have? And this sub-100 lifespan is all we have? Can you accept that?

Hope is another trickery that people play with themselves in their mind. That is why as far as I am concern. I am not here to try to inspire you. I want you to see for yourself things as they are, and no more.

If you can lay down your hope, you can do the best you can in each moment. If you simply do your best without hope, you will probably be surprised how far you can get. If people can do everything they need to do without hoping, they can do whole-heartedly and most sincerely, and they can do almost anything they want.

Without hope, you truly see.
Without hope, you consciously choose.
Without hope, you simply do.

Originally posted 2008-08-28 22:40:17. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

Oneness, base on Tao, Zen, Buddhism, etc.

A little philosophy for the day, edited from a comment I left at Life Coaches Blog’s post — Personal Atrophy for Foolish People. I don’t like to over-analyzing things and prefer to keep it simple, so here goes.

Oneness is truth, and truth is oneness. Everything comes forth from oneness.

Oneness entails the interconnected of everything in this world. Truth is the relationships of the opposing/complimentary forces that is part of this oneness. Our reality is just our interpretation of truth. Despite our perception, our judgement, truth is as these relationships are.

Intelligence enables us to obtain knowledge, but wisdom (true knowledge) is where we apply those information and understand the working of the different relationships in this world.

All types of knowledge leads to self-knowledge, where an individual is aware of his relationship working with all the different relationships in the world, and he acts base on that. This is the application of wisdom. This is also when one is aware of the oneness of the world. Acting with self-knowledge and awareness is self-actualization.

As a result, intelligence leads to wisdom, wisdom leads to awareness, and ultimately, awareness gives birth to true courage and true love. With those, one has the power to act, to be honest with oneself and others.

That’s why…

True love comes from oneness because knowing we are all connected, compassion arises.

True courage also comes from oneness because fear arises from unknowns, and it is only unknown when one is not aware of oneness.

That’s also why, all types of negativities in this world occurs as a result of derailing from oneness, and in other words, being unaware of the oneness of the world/universe. Some examples are…

Denial is a refusal to see the relationships of different forces working together (or against each other), or attachment to one’s own perception of truth.

Anger is a result of expecting relationships to go certain way, again, attachment to one’s perception of how things should be.

Separation is when a person is attached to only one aspect of oneness, like being happy. They just want to be happy, but forget the fact that, happiness exists because sadness also exists.

Hence, attachment is the cause of suffering. When you let go, when you detach, you have everything. Being aware, being in the moment, being present to experience things as they are, lead to peace and joy.

To wrap things up, oneness is the principle of Tao, involving the principle of ying-yang, which are the opposing/complimentary forces I mentioned. Awareness from Zen is what lets you understand. And as it turns out, when you understand it, there really is nothing as Tao. Because by saying Tao, you suggest a concept, but it really is not a concept. There is everything, and there is nothingness, as Buddhism suggests the word “Wu” (ç„¡).

Tao, Zen, and Buddhism, and whatever other branches of these, are base on the same “idea”, but yet ultimately, there is really nothing to grasp. Hence it is said that, once you get it and when someone asks you what is Tao, there really is no answer and you can only laugh. It’s good stuff.

Originally posted 2008-12-09 00:43:59. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

Money is not the Root of all Evil

evil-money

The world appears to be obsessed about money.
The entire human society runs on the circulation of money.
Almost everyone is into making money, one way or another.

We also often observe that…
People dedicate their lives hoarding money.
People stuck worrying everyday about money.
Friends turn against each other for money.
Family and relatives break blood bonds on money issues.
People of authority sometimes do horrible things for money at the cost of the public.

The list keeps going… but…
Money is not evil.

People mistakenly carry this antagonistic mentality about money despite they would like and even love money themselves. So then, they prefer not to talk about it because of their mentality. They may worry that having and liking money will cause other people to think they are evil. However, whether they show it or not, they want more money. And don’t we all. What a paradoxical relationship.

The society supplies and feeds this negative connotation that the word “money” carries because of the bad things that happen when money is involved and what people would do for money.

Money is evil is a misconception and self-limiting thoughts. It also makes us irresponsible to believe that.

At the end of the day, humans are the ones responsible for the evil.
The people who made the choice to do bad things for money are responsible.
There is no other explanation.
Stop blaming.
The responsibility is on us.

Money is not a negative thing.
Money is just a tool.
It is just a dead object.
It is just an invented abstraction for us to trade like people trade goods in the ancient time.
Let us stop putting the responsibility on a dead and abstract thing.

You may also say that money leads or creates greed, but does it really? The fact is that greed is a result of our own thoughts. Human creates greed, and if money has anything to do with it, it is that human allows money to influence themselves to become greedy.

Money is like any other tool we use in our everyday life.
Screw driver, hammer, drill, etc.
People can kill people with those tools, but we never say a screw driver is evil, a hammer is evil. Heck, we can kill people with our fists, aren’t we the evil one then?

As a tool, money provides us leverage.
It gives us power…
Ah, power…
That is the key.
That is where we can attribute why people consider money evil.
As the old saying goes, “Power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely.”

Money provides power in this society.
Lots of money provides lots of power.
Having an inexhaustible amount of money means absolute power.
Money cannot buy everything but you will have “nearly” absolute power, at least.
So I suppose we can suppose that having a lot of money can screw with your mind if you had not master your mind in the first place.

That is exactly why I write this post.
To get your minds out of the gutter where money is evil.
To clarify that money is a tool.
Money is just a tool.
It is neither good or evil inherently.
It is all about what you do with it that matters.
It is why it is important to understand your values and priorities in life.
What you do with it will dictate its usefulness and meaning, which is why hoarding money for no reason is not good (save, save, save… without spending). And that is exactly what some people are doing.

Another good reason for the clarification is when people think money is evil and as a result…
They don’t think about it.
They don’t learn about money management.
They don’t read about personal finance.
They don’t learn the rules and laws concerning money.
Which becomes a bit of a problem…

It is going to be a problem because they won’t care to read my post!
Ok, just kidding.

It is going to be a problem because in this society, we simply cannot do away with money.
Their ignorance will incur extra cost.
Their ignorance will make them lose their hard-earned money.
They will likely be trapped in “rat race”.
They will likely stay poor.
If they are born rich, they may cease to have financial stability.

Any of that happening would suck. Majorly suck. And it sucks for me too because it is my intention and my hope that people can improve, as I always insist. A hope where people can have happier life because happiness is what we are looking for, after all.

Why don’t you help me spread this message out?

Originally posted 2008-04-17 22:39:44. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

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