Do you understand yourself?
Do you know what you want?
Do you know why you act certain ways?
Do you ever talk to yourself?

Can you answer all those questions?

You may think, “Why the heck is this dude asking all these question? He crazy…”
Or you may think, “Only crazy people talk to themselves? This guy’s crazy…”

Hear me out. I want you to understand the importance and the need to get in touch with the self. Take a look around you, these days people seem to be so busy that they never pause for a moment to get to know themselves. They’re so busy with life. They work all the time. They drive to and from work, angry with traffic or thinking about work, or stressing about life. They study and study to obtain some degress or certicates that may move them further in career. When they don’t do those, they sit and watch TV, go on a shopping spree, talking on the phones for hours, listening to iPods, so basically, filling every void possible in their time.

Let me pop another question, “So what’s the most common reason for relationship breakdown?”
This should get your attention.

I would have to say it’s the lack of communication or miscommunication.

Girlfriend/Boyfriend/Wife/Husband: I thought you know what I meant. -OR- Why couldn’t you do this? -OR- I thought we are going to do xxxxx.
The other half: You never told me. -OR- We never talked about it. -OR- You didn’t explicitly say it.

Fit in any scenario in the above example, be it scenario where ones does the wrong thing, or both persons share different outlook in life, or both persons have different spending habits… These are common themes in conflicts that bring relationship to an end when the couple finally realizes the difference without prior communication and understanding to allow solutions and compromises to keep the relationship going. That’s why it is important to get to know each others. It goes for any relationship.

You can translate that into business scenario. Usually when employer and employee terminate their relationship is when one side or both sides cease to listen and understand the other sides, therefore, they no longer can fulfill the needs and expectation of the other side inthe relationship. Perhaps the employer is not getting the work he wants done. Perhaps the employee is not getting the opportunity he wants. Either way, when such problems persist for a long time without communication to solve them, one will fire the other.

You should get my point of the importance for communication in relationship now.

The same thing can happen to the individual person. What happens if I don’t establish communication with myself? Unlike those other relationships, I terminate my relationship with myself. I can’t separate from myself unless I commit suicide, but let’s not go there. So what happens next?

If I never really get to know myself, I will wonder in life aimlessly. I may wake up, go to work or school, eat, sleep, what some TV or play some video games perhaps, do what I am “supposed” to do, do what I need to fulfill my basic needs to survive, or do what satisfies the family’s expection. And that will be it. Then the day repeats itself.

I will be disconnected from myself. I will not know what I want to do. I will not know my priorities. My action will be out of sync from the person I truly am, or who I aspired to be deep down. The more action I perform that does not represent my true self, the further away I am from reality. I will live a life that is not one that I want. Because I don’t do what I want. Because I don’t know what I want. Because I don’t take the moment to think for myself, to talk to myself to understand what are the things that have meanings for me and the priorities in my life. I will do things that are not meaningful to me and some end up hurting myself, like how people hurt each other in relationship when they don’t know what each other wants. I will do stupid things. I will accomplish nothing, just as a relationship will go nowhere when communication ceases to exist.

Consequently, we need to get in touch with ourselves. We need to understand ourselves by continuous self-evaluation and self-discovery. With understanding, we know what we need to change and work on for ourselves. Below are 3 points for you to think about that should help you to get to know yourself.

Define short-term goals

Be it financial goal, change of life-style, exercise routine, develop a new hobby. Do something you WANT to do. Start doing it and stay persistent. Don’t give up after several weeks or months. Instead, slowly involve that as a part of your life.

Have long term goals

This maybe a little more difficult to define specifically, especially if you are young, like myself. Pay attention to what you like and don’t like to do in your job. Think about the way you want to live that you want 5-10 years down the road. What kind career? Having a family? Becoming a home owner? Starting your own business? Moving to another city/country? Something you can do to help others in the world? Basically have a vision of what you see yourself doing in the long haul. Find your passion.

Begin with the end in mind

This comes from Stephen Covey’s 7 Habis of Highly Effective People and for me, this is one of the strongest messages from the book. The defines the ideal person you want to become in life. This is your personal statement for your life. Think about when you died, how others would react? (Sad…Excited…!?!?) What kind of person will they think of you are? (A good father…A good husband…A great teacher…) What would they recall you doing? (Stepping over people to get your way…Always helpling people…) What attributes will the associate with you? (Optimistic…Passionate…Hateful…?) What did they learn from you that will carry on into further generations? It is not what they think that matters, but if you answer these, you will have defined the person you want to be, and you can spend time and effort working toward it everyday day through your life. Make a list and stick to it. Of course, this list can evolve as you go through life and gain new experience.

Enough questions for one day. Also plenty of thinking for one day, if you care. You do care, don’t you? You did finish reading up to here. That proves something :) So onto the finale.

Take step, no matter how small

All these ideas and personal development are not a one day process but a life long process. Taking small steps everyday, however far, or little, each step takes us, is the only way. Make the choice to take the first step. Make the choice to get to know yourself. By beginning with the end in mind, you will have defined the ideal person you want to be. Then hereafter, make the choice take each step, one after the other, spending your effort accomplish your ideal self.

Thanksgiving is just around the corner. So let me take the chance to touch on the subject of giving today.

People always say “giving is receiving”, “it’s better to give than to receive”, “to give is to receive”. But why? Don’t you hate it when people say it, and you just have to agree, even though it may not make too much sense to you. You don’t understand why, but you have to nod your head anyways. Well, I hate that, and seriously, I don’t know if it makes sense to them when they said it either. Perhaps they say it… just to say it. So annoying. So despicable. So stupid. I’m just kidding.

Now following, I will share what I think about “giving” and how exactly is “to give is to receive”.

First, I declare that a prerequisite to achieve the concept of “to give is to receive”. The prerequisite is the ability to accept complete responsibility for your own action.

All of you out there, all of us, the entirety of human beings need to come to the realization that of accepting full responsibility of actions and so, whatever you do is your own choice and you must be responsible for the consequences. Now translating that, every time you give, it needs to be a direct result of your choice and your choice only, not because of obligation, not because of guilt, not because of expected return, etc.

By making your own decision to give, you can reap the full benefits of giving. You give because you are free and able to do so. You give because you have compassion for your fellow human beings, be it family, friends, or complete strangers whom you give to. You can then feel fully satisfied of yourself because you made your own choice to give, to help others, and that sense of satisfaction and joy is NOT a selfish result. You are giving because you WANT to.

Selfish is what? Selfish is when you give to expect to be given in return. How often you see people around you who give love and expect love in return, and how many of those are healthy relationships? You give because you love that person and if that person loves you in return, that’s great. If they don’t, it’s unfortunate, but if you continue to give to further expect something in return, that is not only selfish, it is also a self-destructing behavior. This is why people who truly love are the independent ones who are capable to make each choice in their life while accepting full responsibility for their own actions.

Nor shall you give as a result of guilt or obligation because that will also lead to similar result, where you feel that you have been taken advantage of, or that the other person owes you. That will become burden, which can easily cause you to feel like a victim in the future.

“I help him this time, he should help me in return next time I ask for favor.” We probably have all thought that. We’re only humans. Well… don’t. Stop it. You helped your friend because you chose to and that you will be happy to have done it. That’s receiving right there.

It is okay to accept gift, free meal, or help later if the other person chooses to do so in return. Just don’t expect so, or you are setting yourself up for disappointment, and disappointment is definitely not a form of “receiving”.

In short, to give to rececive, you must make your own decision to give.

Give to be helpful for others.
Give base on a sense of genuine gratitude. (Thanksgiving!)
Give because of compassion.
Give because you want and choose to.

Or 5 million dollars, or 10 million dollars… It doesn’t really matter. The point is, let’s assume you receive a certain amount of money that provides you financial independence for the rest of your life.

What would you do?

First, why don’t you take a look at today’s market. See how far it’s plunged. 360 points! Everyone who has 401k and stock portfolio can probably feel it, ouch! For those of us looking at long term, it maybe less relevant, but nonetheless, my net worth is taking the hit temporarily.

The reason I mentioned that… Sometimes I feel this uncontrolled impatience inside myself. I’ll look at the amount in my saving, in brokerage, and then the amount of my loan. I look at my net worth, and I feel that it’s just not growing fast enough. I save, I invest, I contribute to 401k with discipline each month, but it’s still not growing fast enough for my patience. I want to be financially independent today. I want to be done. I want to be out of the rat race right now. And honestly? Don’t we all.

Though, I brought myself back to reality, back to my calm self and without losing sight. I think about what I would do if I do receive the money that enables my financial independence, be it 1mil, 5mil, 10mil, or 1bil…

Now I have hobbies, and quite a few of them. I have things I like doing. I want to help people. But as far as what exactly I want to do with the freedom and all those time that comes with the financial independence, I cannot say I am 100% certain, which is okay because I need go through what I am going through. The experience will continuously let me better understand the world around me and learn about myself. Only with such experience, I am what I am today and what I will be. And also more appreciative I shall be when the moment arrives. That’s why, I am and will continue to do my best, and there is no hurry. Enjoying and being in each moment, including this process, is important. There is no better place and moment to be.

As the saying goes (vaguely as I can remember it):
Every moment you spent wishing to be somewhere else is a moment of your life wasted.

What are we?
Humans.

What’s the most significant between us and other animals?
We have a mind that allows thorough thought process before we take actions.

Right… if a person take a real close look at the society today, one would wonder if that is necessarily true…
Sadly.

Of course…
Critical thinking is tough.
People don’t like tough.
Thinking requires actual work.
People don’t want to work.
Thinking is boring.
People don’t want to be bored.

It’s so much easier to not think and be told what to do, or just go with the flow.
You can always blame the outside when something doesn’t go well.
No responsibility. No strings attached.
What convenience.
Let’s all give it up!
The mind that is.

But there is a slight problem if you take a look…

Looking at the advertising sector, you can observe the rampant, or shall I said rabid, movement and expansion these days. Remember I talked about why there’s no need for financially aware consumers before? Together with that, another idea that actually encourage the ads companies to continue their push to reach into every corner of consumers’ life is because how little people give thoughts about what they consume.

How are the growth of the ads sector and whether people think related, you may ask? If people don’t give so much thoughts into what products they are buying, what kind of loans they are borrowing, what kind of service they are affording, they are more bound, more easily succumbed to spend money on products they don’t really need, loans that cost them more in the long run, or services that bring little to no significant values. That in turn, allows all the ads campaigns to have such an effectiveness that promotes more use of ads. “It works, why not do it more!” Consumers are letting themselves be told what they “need” when most of the things being marketed are just things they “want”.

Take a look at Apple…
Take a look at all weight-loss programs…
Take a look at all the new drugs coming out…

In addition, if we look at the current society, how many people are not too hesitant to make their voice be heard? But quite often, they are just taking sides without clear thinking or they are simply echoing off each other. They said things but they didn’t say things because there are no substance, no real thinking behind those words. My sincere opinion is that they would not be saying many of those words if they truly see the world and the things that are happening as they really are.

Moreover…
Stress is on the rise.
Depression is on the rise.
Obesity is on the rise.
Nation’s health is on the decline.

Could it be that the whole population has been soaked by the message of materialism, perpetual growth, and flashy life style for too long? That everyone would work work work, in order to earn earn earn, to have lots of money to afford “things”.
Who needs to exercise.
Who needs to spend time with family.
Who needs to hang out with friends.
Who needs to appreciate nature.
Who needs a spiritual life.

Let me end the thought provoking content here, hopefully they are, despite them being very high level
I would not claim myself an expert in the above subjects, but hopefully I got my points across.
Just here to offer my point of view.

And to sum up it up…
You should do your own thinking.
Do not let other people dictate your actions.
Take your life personally and find the values that are important to you.
Understand them, prioritize them.
Then act and live accordingly.
Finally, use your mind wisely.

On the topic of buying my own place, it has always been my thought to wait until half way through next year to make a decision on buying. This MSN Money article, House prices expected to fall until 2009, reaffirms it for me.

“It’s going to be a long time before we see it bottom out and recover,” said David Lowman, chief executive of JPMorgan Chase’s Global Mortgage unit. “There’s too much inventory already in the marketplace.”

Lowman and the three other participants in a round-table session before most of the convention’s 4,000 participants differed slightly on the size of price declines still upcoming, but they agreed no price recovery is likely until at least 2009.

“I think this year we will see a 2% decline in national home prices, and we’re projecting about a 4% decline next year,” said Thomas Lund, an executive vice president at Fannie Mae.

Prices likely will flatten in 2009, Lund said, before gradually rising.

Lowman said it might be 2010 before the price decline ends.

This is not hard to imagine, because it is only since last year 2006 that the rate has begun to reset for many home buyers with ARM. Those ARMs are borrowed on a fixed rate for either 3-year or 5-year for many people spreaded over time. Hence, it is not difficult to imagine that as many more of those ARMs’ rates get reset in the coming years, there will be more defaults and foreclosures following. Together with an already over-supplied market, housing price is bound to drop further

So honestly speaking, who knows when the housing market is going to bottom out? Nonetheless, that is my vision and what I believe. That is the reason why I am waiting until next year to get a better perspective before making a decision to jump into home-ownership.

There is no hurry because while I wait,I will continue to put my money to work in some high-yield saving accounts and stocks/funds investment.