Understand Yourself

Do you understand yourself?
Do you know what you want?
Do you know why you act certain ways?
Do you ever talk to yourself?

Can you answer all those questions?

You may think, “Why the heck is this dude asking all these question? He crazy…”
Or you may think, “Only crazy people talk to themselves? This guy’s crazy…”

Hear me out. I want you to understand the importance and the need to get in touch with the self. Take a look around you, these days people seem to be so busy that they never pause for a moment to get to know themselves. They’re so busy with life. They work all the time. They drive to and from work, angry with traffic or thinking about work, or stressing about life. They study and study to obtain some degress or certicates that may move them further in career. When they don’t do those, they sit and watch TV, go on a shopping spree, talking on the phones for hours, listening to iPods, so basically, filling every void possible in their time.

Let me pop another question, “So what’s the most common reason for relationship breakdown?”
This should get your attention.

I would have to say it’s the lack of communication or miscommunication.

Girlfriend/Boyfriend/Wife/Husband: I thought you know what I meant. -OR- Why couldn’t you do this? -OR- I thought we are going to do xxxxx.
The other half: You never told me. -OR- We never talked about it. -OR- You didn’t explicitly say it.

Fit in any scenario in the above example, be it scenario where ones does the wrong thing, or both persons share different outlook in life, or both persons have different spending habits… These are common themes in conflicts that bring relationship to an end when the couple finally realizes the difference without prior communication and understanding to allow solutions and compromises to keep the relationship going. That’s why it is important to get to know each others. It goes for any relationship.

You can translate that into business scenario. Usually when employer and employee terminate their relationship is when one side or both sides cease to listen and understand the other sides, therefore, they no longer can fulfill the needs and expectation of the other side inthe relationship. Perhaps the employer is not getting the work he wants done. Perhaps the employee is not getting the opportunity he wants. Either way, when such problems persist for a long time without communication to solve them, one will fire the other.

You should get my point of the importance for communication in relationship now.

The same thing can happen to the individual person. What happens if I don’t establish communication with myself? Unlike those other relationships, I terminate my relationship with myself. I can’t separate from myself unless I commit suicide, but let’s not go there. So what happens next?

If I never really get to know myself, I will wonder in life aimlessly. I may wake up, go to work or school, eat, sleep, what some TV or play some video games perhaps, do what I am “supposed” to do, do what I need to fulfill my basic needs to survive, or do what satisfies the family’s expection. And that will be it. Then the day repeats itself.

I will be disconnected from myself. I will not know what I want to do. I will not know my priorities. My action will be out of sync from the person I truly am, or who I aspired to be deep down. The more action I perform that does not represent my true self, the further away I am from reality. I will live a life that is not one that I want. Because I don’t do what I want. Because I don’t know what I want. Because I don’t take the moment to think for myself, to talk to myself to understand what are the things that have meanings for me and the priorities in my life. I will do things that are not meaningful to me and some end up hurting myself, like how people hurt each other in relationship when they don’t know what each other wants. I will do stupid things. I will accomplish nothing, just as a relationship will go nowhere when communication ceases to exist.

Consequently, we need to get in touch with ourselves. We need to understand ourselves by continuous self-evaluation and self-discovery. With understanding, we know what we need to change and work on for ourselves. Below are 3 points for you to think about that should help you to get to know yourself.

Define short-term goals

Be it financial goal, change of life-style, exercise routine, develop a new hobby. Do something you WANT to do. Start doing it and stay persistent. Don’t give up after several weeks or months. Instead, slowly involve that as a part of your life.

Have long term goals

This maybe a little more difficult to define specifically, especially if you are young, like myself. Pay attention to what you like and don’t like to do in your job. Think about the way you want to live that you want 5-10 years down the road. What kind career? Having a family? Becoming a home owner? Starting your own business? Moving to another city/country? Something you can do to help others in the world? Basically have a vision of what you see yourself doing in the long haul. Find your passion.

Begin with the end in mind

This comes from Stephen Covey’s 7 Habis of Highly Effective People and for me, this is one of the strongest messages from the book. The defines the ideal person you want to become in life. This is your personal statement for your life. Think about when you died, how others would react? (Sad…Excited…!?!?) What kind of person will they think of you are? (A good father…A good husband…A great teacher…) What would they recall you doing? (Stepping over people to get your way…Always helpling people…) What attributes will the associate with you? (Optimistic…Passionate…Hateful…?) What did they learn from you that will carry on into further generations? It is not what they think that matters, but if you answer these, you will have defined the person you want to be, and you can spend time and effort working toward it everyday day through your life. Make a list and stick to it. Of course, this list can evolve as you go through life and gain new experience.

Enough questions for one day. Also plenty of thinking for one day, if you care. You do care, don’t you? You did finish reading up to here. That proves something :) So onto the finale.

Take step, no matter how small

All these ideas and personal development are not a one day process but a life long process. Taking small steps everyday, however far, or little, each step takes us, is the only way. Make the choice to take the first step. Make the choice to get to know yourself. By beginning with the end in mind, you will have defined the ideal person you want to be. Then hereafter, make the choice take each step, one after the other, spending your effort accomplish your ideal self.

Originally posted 2007-11-11 22:46:29. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

Steve Jobs Commencement Speech on Personal Development

My fellow readers, I’m sure a lot of you are college students or graduates. Either way, I think it is safe to assume that we all have gone to friends’ or relatives’ commencement ceremony. I think it is also safe that there is one element of the ceremony, that we are ever so fond of, or perhaps dread it the most.. that’s right, THAT is the commencement speech.

Over the years, I have gone to many ceremonies, and needless to say, some maybe somewhat inspirational, some maybe fill with mundane phrases such as “you will be the pillars of the society tomorrow, etc.” and some are just utterly boring and filled with jibberish.

However, there is one exceptional commencement speech that I would like to share with everyone some interesting highlights from it, by Steven Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios, delivered on June 12, 2005 at Stanford University.

  • I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK.He made a decision, committed to it, and BELIEVED that it will be okay. Sometimes we just do not know where life is leading us, but a decision has to be made. After making the decision, trusting that it will be okay may just the the key that “it will turn out okay”!
  • And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. – We have to learn to trust ourselves and our intuition. There has gotta be something right about doing the things that our gut tells us it feels right. Make sense? We may not have the beautiful typography we see on computer today if Steve Jobs had not done so!
  • The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. – This is a good synonym to keeping an open mind.
  • Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don’t lose faith. – Again, trusting, having faith in your decision and yourself is important. Persistence is what takes us to success eventually.
  • You’ve got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. – Work and lover together essentially ARE a major part of our lives… how do we love life and live happily if we don’t love them? If you don’t listen to me, listen to Steve Jobs, “Keep looking until you find it. Don’t settle.”
  • Here is the best piece of advice from the speech:

    “If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you’ll most certainly be right.” It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer has been “No” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

    Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

    He is right. If I know I’m going to die soon, I don’t have time to NOT do the things I want. If I ask myself the same question he did and I cannot answer with one thing that I would STILL do if I will die tomorrow for too many days, some changes are definitely needed.

  • Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. – Understanding your life is completely your own responsibility. Do not get bogged down or fear others and what they think. Do not live life based on others’ expectation.
  • Steve’s last words, “Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.” Just as the description of my blog suggests, life is a journey, an endless journey. It only stops when we choose to stop. As the earth is ceaselessly spinning, the world is constantly changing, and therefore we will never know everything and are always foolishwe. Knowing that, “staying hungry and staying foolish” becomes the only path.

Click here for the full commencement address.

Let’s all thanks Steve for his words of wisdom.

Originally posted 2007-05-24 01:48:32. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

The Death of Responsibility

The main reason for the title of this post sprouts from reading one article and another article regarding attempt to pass legislation that set aside 20 billion will help people from foreclosures in the subprime mortgage sector. And I won’t get started on how the goverment is over-spending (our poor tax money…) It’s a whole other rant.

Anyways, you ask, how does the legislation relate to responsibility, or the death of it?

Here is some background info, in a nutshell:
Yes, the subprime mortgage exists to help people with lesser credit to obtain money to be able to purchase a home. But couple years ago, a lot of people, who I would assume did not think and plan logically based on their cash flow and how the possibility of rate adjustment would affect their payment in future, take on these loans to purchase a home. And I am certain among those people, there are plenty who took it to the extreme to buy something they can only marginally afford. On top of that, they probably take the risk of buying such homes with the assumption that the market price will continue to rise. Needless to say, now that the market price is stagnant and probably will drop some more, and time has reached to point of rate reset, they can no longer afford their payments and face foreclosure.

Here is the answer why having the legislation is an irresponsible deed:
The word of significance from my explanation above is, RISK. Any market/business out there involves risk. Like buying stocks, people understand (I hope they do…) that they are at risk of buying something that which the value may drop and therefore, they can lose money. The logic isn’t too far off here. These people, who are now facing foreclosures, borrwed money and borrowed more than they can afford. There’s also probability that they did not try to fully comprehend the terms – what could happen with the rate and how a slight change in rate can strangle them by taking loans to the extreme. They took the bet, and they lost. Like gambling in casino, you don’t get your money back when you lost. Period

This takes me to the conclusion that the folks proposing the legislation are simply silly. If they go ahead with that, why don’t they have legislation to help cover the people who lost in the stock market. Next, help the people who started business and completely failed. While we are at it, let’s have legislation that bails out the folks who lost their shirts at casino. This really makes me want to laugh.

On top of this and outside of the financial arena, responsibility is also non-existent. A few points of support are:

  • Most recently, from the Virginia Tech shooting, I talked about how people fail to look into themselves for the source of problem
  • Another recent case, check out some news on Alberto Gonzales. The dude used 50+ times of “I don’t recall” as his answers in his own defense. Isn’t he the head of the Federal Bureau of Investigation? If so, I would say, whether he is willing or not, whether he likes it or not, it’s his job, and he should be aware of the firing process of eight attorneys. Since he doesn’t recall of of that, he deserves to be fired, as a normal employee would on a job.
  • A case of parents suing frat/school for the demise of their under-age-son because of alchohol. My argument – did the fraternity or the school make the decision for the boy to sneak in and over-drink? Even if it’s due to hazing, the kid chose to join the frat himself. I am sorry, but he has made a stupid choice.
  • Few years back, a case where people attempt to sue the big four fast food restaurants “lying” to customers and need to offer healthier options to. What the heck, c’mon, we all know fast food are not healthy. Go eat something else if you want to be healthy or add exercise to the agenda.
  • Domestic (unmarried) partner claiming the other person has held them back in life. This is an example I observed from personal life and my argument – pure excuses.

The list could go on if I really want to keep digging, but I think I have stated my point. It would really help if people do THINK before they make a decision, and also understand that whatever outcomes are the direct result of our own decisions and actions, and we need to stop blaming and take responsibility.

Originally posted 2007-04-23 00:52:02. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

Are You Ready to Change?

Phew, the election is finally over. For awhile I felt like the news, rumors, absurdities, bashing, and Tina Fey would never end. We can now be relieved and start seeing and reading other things besides all things presidential and campaign related. By other things, I mean economic crisis news ONLY. Okay, enough sarcastic comments for the day.

Finally the president is decided. Now we can move on. I am glad. The biggest unknown and question now is, “Are the people ready to change?” Our future will result in two completely different ends depending on the answer. I wonder if people really mean it when they say change.

If they mean that they are ready to change and better themselves, this would be a good answer.

If they simply mean that they await for others and the world to change for them, this would be the disastrous answer.

Originally posted 2008-11-05 21:36:41. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

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