I Suck at Giving Advice

I guess it has been a long since I wrote anything that’s personal so here’s a tid bit today just for fun.

My good friend D was accusing me of being not very good at making myself known or heard. Yes, I said. So maybe I should not use the word accusing, but on the other hand, I behave my way not because I don’t want to be known or heard.

Here’s what I do if I shall ever feel enticed or am asked to give advice or suggestion.

— I will say it once.
— I will repeat it.
— I will not say it thrice, unless the other person changes his attitude and shows a damn good display of genuine interest as to why I say what I did, which never happens.

Two things are apparent by the time I said the same thing twice (perhaps paraphrased and presented differently).
— My idea is simply out of the person’s grasp at that moment in time.
— The other person simply does not agree and/or wants to hear what I have to say.

Now the real reason to not repeat myself thrice is this — Let fools persist in their folly and they may become wise.

In other words, let people make mistakes and hopefully they will learn. And because we know that people often DON’T learn from their mistakes, sometimes the necessary evil is, to trick and nudge people into making more mistakes and hopefully they will learn… eventually.

Or in martial arts term, instead of directly resisting an opponent’s attack, one redirects the opponent’s force against himself.

Therefore sometimes, instead of saying what I want to say or what I had said, I instead advise the person simply with what he wants to hear.

Applying this idea in a grandiose scale, we — some humans? — may just have the responsibility to nudge the human civilization into further catastrophe before we will ever learn. Learn about what? Eh, maybe another’s day topic.

And I end my post today promoting — MORE consumption, MORE easy credit, MORE oil drilling, MORE technology, MORE medical drugs, MORE wars, More MOre MOrE~~~~!

Originally posted 2010-06-02 23:54:55. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

Enjoying the Present and Saving for Later

There is the argument that we should lay it down and stop worrying so much about the future in order to live it up “now.”

However, when people say that, they often say it in the effect that enjoying the present and saving for later are mutually exclusive. Sometimes people are full of crap. Let me correct myself, sometimes is incorrect, it should be often time.

I believe you can do both. It is a matter of juggling and making choices. You may have to make sacrifice and compromise here and there in the now in order to make progress with both. It comes down to knowing yourself and deciding the important things in your life. People need to spend time to think about these — what do you know about yourself and the important things in your life?

And when you think, you need to think beyond the limit of their “norms”, and these norms include years of experience performing the same patterns of action, cultural background, religion, familial influence, peer pressure… And this is where real learning needs to take place. Being aware in everyday experience. Observing the world and the people around them. Seeing the cause and effect. Reading lots of books.

Back to the topic of enjoying the present and saving for later… I think people misconceive consciously or subconsciously that saving connotes pain and suffering. This is due to the consumeristic nature of our society. They got conditioned by advertising and then by power of the peers to have the if-you-don’t-spend-money-to-get-things-now-you-are-not-having-a-good-time mentality. Or the oh-woe-be-me-if-I-don’t-own-these-certain-things mentality. I did say “conditioned”, but people themselves have partial responsibility that they allow themselves be conditioned. They follow instructions because it is easier. Once again, people are not thinking critically for themselves.

And why does enjoying the present now usually mean you have to spend a butt load of money anyways? Yes, trips may cost quite a bit but you are not doing trips everyday I assume. There are many simple things to appreciate. There are a multitude of activities with minimal costs that provide enjoyable experience. People overlook those things. They lack awareness in life. Are you always looking for things to buy to feel excited? Do you often feel bored when you are not doing something? Do you have to have “this” (things or experience) to feel satisfied? I think those are all symptoms of the same — lack of awareness.

And we can also talk about people succumbing to the idea of standard of living. As age progresses, people have adopted so many what used to be luxurious and extravagant things into requirements as the “supposed” standard of living. What is this standard of living anyways? And what is normal? Perhaps they need to be more abnormal and start creating their own version of standard of living, instead of letting themselves fall into this bucket of people deemed normal. They are letting this normal defines them. And note, I am not saying you cannot having normal things and act the norm, just that you are to think for yourself and make the choice to do so. You align your decisions with your priorities in life. You define your normal.

I dare say that most people who have or had debt problems fall into one of the last 3 conditions. You may think the causes should be more complicated than those, and that would be fine. But I prefer to break things down to their bottom lines. I will leave the analysis of the complex human nature to the experts, or the “experts”, and I will continue to keep things simple. Though remember, simple does not mean easy.

Originally posted 2008-08-16 01:31:15. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

Pinning all hopes on Bernanke

Let’s face it, many of us are looking at the stock market these days and wondering what on earth is going on. By that I mean, how on earth that stocks keep going up and up while there are not only very little good news but plenty of bad ones!

However, I think it’s become very clear in the last couple weeks now that the amazingly yet-increasing stock market is moving becase of one condition — Bernanke, or namely the Feds.

At the moment, Bernanke has the last card — QE3. So long as he continues to dangle the QE3 carrot in front of the traders, and we know most of the stock market now is moving due to traders — especially there are less retail investors now since all the crashes.

The question is, how long will this dangling of carrot work? I don’t know but I think it won’t be pretty when it stops working. And ultimately, Bernanke is not going to use this last card until something drastic happen that bring the market lower first.

That, is my humble view… mixed in with a bit of rant. I expect and await the market to come down in the next couple months when the “carrot” loses affect and I’m afraid it probably will not be pretty. Then Bernanke will not no where to go and QE3 the crap out of the market.

I’m simply really curious as to what will happen from now until end of year.

Originally posted 2012-09-03 20:20:42. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

3 Things Involved with Discipline in Order to Change

I talked about finding the “why”, finding the motivation as the first step to focus on in taking action to reach a goal. It provides the drive and passion for reaching that certain goal and completing those propositions. With that in mind, I will discuss three intertwined points in order to have an attack plan that draw the fine line between success and failure for you. If you can do the following, you have the basics of discipline down.

Learning Habit – Make something a part of yourself
Often time when you will think about learning or trying something. You consciously or sub-consciously also associate the fact that it is just something extra. The idea that it’s something exra leads you to think that it is not “as important” or dispensable even, which is very very bad. Take for example, you would like to become healthier and thus, need to exercise (and include a balance diet). When you consider it extra instead of a requirement, you will most likely just continue to go home and sit in front of TV. Instead of thinking it as something extra that needs to be done after work, you need to consider it as a required part of your life. Humans ARE animals and thus, daily activities should involve a certain amount of movement to sustain livelihood, just like breathing/sleeping is a part of us. It is not something extra that we can stop doing.

Another example can be that you want to improve your communication skill and for that, it involes becoming a better listener, which involves understanding people and not just hearing words. So instead of practicing and learning tips and tricks on listening to keywords and doing feedbacks, you need to make the principle of always trying to understand other people a part of you. By making the best effort to keep that as a habit, only then you become so natural at it and thus allow you to become good in communication.

Learning a habit takes time, it’s like learning a new sport where we have to drill certain movements into our muscles. Make it a requirement as a part of your being and have patience for yourself to learn it as a habit.

Being Persistent – Focus on the end and don’t give up
As previously discussed, learning a habit is by no means an easy task, nor is reaching a certain long-term goal any easier. They usually involve an extensive amount of time that will take steps after steps to get to it. The beginnning is especially a tough step, which is the reason we need the “why”. Heck, I’ve always doubted myself in learning piano in such an “old” age, but staying persistent and continue to practice is the only way I can get where I want, albeit the frustration and feeling like a failure sometimes. By focusing on the end, I will not give up. You will owe it to your persistence to reach most goals.

Fear Not – Let go, trust, and just be in the moment
This relates to the last point very much. As how I would doubt myself in my piano skill quest, I can feel fear creeps up on me that actually holds me back from practicing at times. It is very strange but that is what fear does to us. “Where is the end? I don’t see all the steps that take me to the goal.” With many possible failed steps in our path to reach a goal, staying persistent is one thing. One thing that will back up the persistence is to let go of the fear and just be in the moment of taking the step, trust that a new step will be revealed, which is somewhat analogous to having the end in mind and having persistence to kee you going. Trust in “the end” and don’t let fear steer you away from reaching it (but this is not saying we don’t take advice from otehrs).

The ideas I talked about is a little difficult to articulate, so you can somehow grasp them and make use of them.

Originally posted 2007-03-23 23:50:29. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

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