Having Alone Time and Feeling Lonely, What is Your Comfort Level?

With today’s hectic life style, it’s hard for us to have alone time. I am talking about authentic alone time, where you are all by yourself (alone physically) and completely in the moment with yourself (alone emotionally), not distracted from doing or thinking about other things. True one on one time. Just be there, with yourself.

How much one has mastered himself and his own mind directly shows in the comfort level when he is truly by himself.

“Oh my god, I’m bored, I need to…
… call someone on my cellphone!
… check Facebook!
… browse the web/YouTube/blogs!
… go out somewhere fun!
… go shopping!”

And BAM, you end up spending money. Therefore, to be comfortable being alone and lonely will help both yourself and for you to save money. Follow me.

I dare to say a majority of people are not comfortable with themselves. Look at the rampancy where people are constantly, and I do mean constantly, talking on cellphones, texting, writing emails, browsing social networks, etc. Never a minute to be truly by themselves.

Being alone and lonely. To get used to themselves. To provide quiet moments for the mind to digest information. To simply let the mind rest so to stay calm. Through which, they can come see things as they are. But no, people are way too busy. They even try very hard to stay busy. They must fill every moment in time doing something. They must succeed! But remember, what is success?

Consumerism is probably a result of this, where people fill their moments with the excitement of buying things, owning things, bragging about the things they own. They fill their moments and physical space with things, things, and more things as distraction.

Existing common knowledge says aloneness is bad. People avoid being alone. They even get depressed. “Oh my god, oh my god, I am all by myself!” Is being alone so bad? Is being lonely so bad? In reality, we are all alone since birth because nobody can fully be you, and nobody can fully understand you.

Like avoiding people they do not like, people avoid being alone. If you never get time alone, how do you ever understand yourself? Without such understanding, your action may or may not align with what you truly want out of life.

Do you want your life to be like rolling the dice? Or do you want to choose to be who you want to be? Is such busy life worth it?

Originally posted 2008-06-05 00:16:57. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

2 Responses

  1. rob says:

    I really agree with this post.

    Back when I was living in the US, I always felt ashamed and guilty whenever I wasn’t busy. It was as if there was this unspoken peer pressure to always be occupied with something. If someone asked me what I did last weekend, and I replied “oh, nothing, I just stayed home by myself”, I would typically get the “what’s wrong with you?” reaction. For some reason, aloneness is equated to loser-ness.

    Now that I’m back in my home country (the Philippines), I can safely announce to my friends, “I was alone and read a book this weekend”, without any judgment being passed. Some would even reply with a “good for you!” pat on the back. The pretense of being occupied all the time just isn’t that big a deal. Busyness is not necessarily valued, and aloneness is looked upon as valuable time spent recharging.

    I get my best insights and revelations when I am able to clear away all distractions. It often results in clear thinking, determining what are the most important things to focus on, and being fully aware of the moment. Time spent being alone and self-aware is a great investment.

  2. Kin says:

    Thanks Rob. The scenario of people thinking ‘what’s wrong with you?” for just having some good old alone time, relaxing, reading, and what not… is so typical. Like you HAVE TO do something for a weekend. Can’t I just relax? lol

    So glad to hear from you from Philippines with a perspective from the outside and at the same time had experienced the U.S. life style.

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